Toenail Fungus

Toenail fungus. Simple as that. I could turn that into a metaphor for being polished and pretty on the inside and broken and dirty on the inside, but it's not about that today. It's about a straight-out case of toenail fungus.

Ok. Fine. So, it's not that deep....and....it's not that simple either. :-) You know me better than that. I did want to get that out of the way though. If you are looking for something with a little more depth, I wanted to let you know up front that you won't be getting that here. It's more like some rambling...

What it is really about is how busy us moms can be and how that can lead to us not taking care of ourselves. Have I blogged about that before? I'm not sure and I don't have the time to check, so forgive me if this is a repeat  (tongue in cheek)....

I woke up this morning to a throbbing toe. Not that this is new to me, it's just that it usually occurs on the way to bed, not when I wake up. Maybe I was running around the house in my sleep. Who knows.... Anyway... I have a little issue with my big toe. fine. HAD a small issue with my big toe. IGNORED my small issue with my big toe. Now have a BIG painful issue with my big toe.

Again, I could start to go into how this 'little issue turning into a big one because I ignored it' problem can be applied to bigger life issues... but... not today...

Back to this morning... As I lay there with my throbbing toe, my mind got to thinking... Why haven't I had this taken care of? It hurts! The usual excuses came up. Time? Well, if I stayed off Facebook and Words with Friends for a day or two, I would probably 'bank' enough time to get to the doctor's office. Money? I finally have insurance again, and like the time (non) issue, if I cut a few things here and there, it should cover the copay. Babysitter? I would be a complete liar if I said I didn't have anyone to watch my kids. Out of everything, this is probably where I have the most support...Hmmmm...

What is it!?!? At the risk of sounding like I martyr, I think it's simply the fact that I'm so busy taking care of everyone else, that I don't even take the time (let alone even think about) to make a doctor's appointment. (I really hope I don't sound like a martyr, although it can be really easy to get sucked into that role - which is a whole 'nother blog in itself!) I think I just sound like a mom! If my issue is not affecting anyone else, I really have no motivation to get it taken care of. There is enough stuff that "matters" to take care of.

 I don't think it is abnormal , but at the same time I don't agree with this line of thinking. How do us moms get a new mindset? At what point do we think our needs are just as important as everyone else's? I should have a servant's heart, but at the same time I need to take care of the temple that is my body. Right?! Would I want my daughters to grow up and put themselves at the bottom of their own "to-do" list? If not, why would I be that kind of example? But then again, if my motivation is to be an example for my kids and not just to simply take care of myself, does that put me back in the same cycle?

Am I thinking too much about this?

Probably. Maybe at the end of the day the answer is that I really don't want to mess up my semi-annual professional pedicure. :-) Yeah. That's it.

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Talk to me!

Can you relate? Do you find yourself in the same dilemma? If not, what is your motivation? Is there anyone in your life that can use motivation to take care of themselves? If so, what can you do for them?

Personal Responsibilty

I’ve dedicated today to  getting the clothes organized (again!) and cleaning the house. While I’m trying to get this done, all of a sudden I think about a blog and how I have time to finally write one… funny how that works… maybe I should dedicate more time to cleaning the house…

When you have an ex that you are dealing with, a spouse that works different hours than the average 9 to 5, or any difficult person in your life (come on, I’m sure you can think of at least one!) it is really easy to start blaming and pointing fingers.  “I” did (or didn’t do) this because “they” did or said…  Sometimes it’s once in a while, and then sometimes it turns into a “belief” or way of life for us. You become a (self-perceived) victim of the circumstances that this person put you in. An excuse for our behavior.

Truth is, each one of us will stand in front of the Lord and give an account for how we lived our life. Alone. We will give an account of what we did with what HE gave us; time, finances, children, ministry, etc. We will be standing there alone, responsible for our actions and reactions to people and circumstances. There will be no one there to point fingers at (and thankfully, no one standing there pointing fingers at me!). No “buts” - just personal responsibility. God has given us free will, and along with that comes great responsibility.  

Side note: It is by faith in Jesus Christ that I am saved and do not fear this judgment.  Because I am a believer and follower of Jesus Christ, despite the account that I must give, I have been cleansed with the blood of Jesus and will be accepted by God as His own. Nothing I do can increase or decrease my chances of being accepted by God as long as I choose to believe that Jesus Christ is my savior.  Because I love the Lord, I long to hear the words , “Well done, my good and faithful student.”  Because I love the Lord for who HE IS and not what He does, I long to please Him – just as my own young children long to please me. This is whole new topic I’m going on, so I’m going to stop now and get back to my housecleaning…

Rev. 20:11-15: Judgment of the lost

I Cor. 3:10-23, II Cor. 5:10-11: Judgment of the saved

Matthew 25:23

His Time

I’m sitting here thinking about things that I need to work on. One of the dominant issues that I need to deal with is time management. I started thinking that I needed to be a better steward of my time. I needed to schedule my time for the week better. I need to prioritize what I decide to do with my time.

Then something clicked. Maybe I’m looking at this from the wrong perspective. I am not my own. I dedicated my life to Jesus Christ who paid the price of His life for me. Maybe I should be looking at it as HIS time, not MY time. How would I run my day differently if I thought of every minute as HIS time?

I’ll leave you with that thought as I continue to ponder it myself…

Liar, Liar... (aka Candlelight part 2)

This can be also be titled, "Men are from Mars, Women..." well, you know how that goes...

Anyway, I have a confession. I went to dinner with my husband on our anniversary; I did not stay home with the kids alone. OK. It's out there. I feel so much better. Kinda...  Hmmmm. Here I am trying to reach out and relate to a certain group of women and it turns out to be false!!! Yikes!

To my defense though, I did not know

Candlelight Dinner for Three

I've been married for 6 years today! Time to break out the bubbly! ...bubbly grape soda that is...

I'll be spending the evening with my 2 darling daughters. After spending the day with my girls, including a trip to Macaroni Grill for lunch and a trip to Target, I'll be making a delicious candlelight pancake dinner for the 3 of us.

What do you mean something does not sound right? You mean about the candles? Yeah, I should probably nix that idea...  Ohhhh....something or someone is missing? Yeah, that would be my husband, who has to work again tonight. He needs to prep for a big chef event tomorrow. Don't worry though, I did get told "Happy Anniversary" this morning before he left, and, when he called while I was at Macaroni Grill for lunch I thanked him and told him that I would send him the bill. Gifts that you didn't know you were going to give are the best, right?!

In all seriousness though, thankfully, I'm not really the romantic type and since I don't know any different, it really doesn't bother me (too much). Being a single mom for 8 years prior kinda prepared me as well. Besides, somewhere out there are several women celebrating their anniversary  alone. Whether it is due to career, military deployment, or any other reason, it doesn't change the fact that our spouses still love us and married us x amount of years ago.

So, I lift up my glass of sparkling grape soda and say "Cheers!" to all the Married Singles out there!

FYI - I'm typing this on my cell phone, so I'm not sure what it looks like. I'm hoping its readable and easy to follow...

Visitation Sucks

Visitation sucks. Sucks for the kid going back and forth. Sucks for the “visiting” parent to only see their kid on a visitation/temp basis. Sucks for the siblings who miss their brother. And it really sucks for me.

Even if it is only for a few days at a time, I feel like a piece of my heart is missing the entire time, every time. You would think that after 13 years, I would be used to it. Nope. Not me. It would be very selfish for me to not want him to visit his father, but I have to be honest in my imaginary selfish world that is how it would be. Of course… it is  the real world, and not only is driving my son over to his dad’s every other week what I have to do, it is also the right thing to do because they love him too. Someone just needs to tell that to my heart, because it’s about to be temporarily broken yet again starting tomorrow morning…

Lost single mom at 21, Found single mom at 25ish...

It was time for Tyler to start preschool. I didn’t know exactly why I thought he should go to a Christian school, but it seemed like the right choice.  After a couple (not so positive) chats with administration after getting called out of work early, they asked if we attended any local churches. It didn’t seem like a bad idea, and quite frankly I was desperate to try something that might have a good influence on my son.  We tried a few churches (I say “we” because my little preschooler was also a decision maker). One Sunday we attended one in La Habra. I loved it, and so did he! It was an easy decision. I started attending and learning. I had no idea how much it influenced me…

I think I was 25 (thus the title 25ish)

STOP THE PRESSES! I have to interrupt this story to share an amazing part of my day today!!! As I was typing this and enjoying my coffee at Starbucks I couldn’t help but overhear a very tattooed young man talk to his friend about Christianity and how he reads his bible for a few days and then forgets about it while he gets stoned for a few days and

NOT a morning person... (aka Mind Games part 2)

I thought maybe publicizing that I had to wake up early would actually help me do so.  Or not. It almost did. When I woke up this morning, I thought about the blog I had written last night and the fact that I probably would need to share what I actually did. That almost got me out of bed when the alarm went off. Almost.

So we all got up in a mad scramble. The pile of clean laundry that was waiting to be put away now looks like an explosion happened in my girls room. They are fully dressed in clean clothes now, so that’s all that really matters, right? My husband got home so late last night from work that all the hollering and clothes flying didn’t seem to affect him in the least. He still laid there sound asleep. Tyler almost got away with eating fish crackers for breakfast… but then I could hear my mother’s voice in my head about eating a good breakfast… and in my head I agreed with her, can’t have my teen do his Star testing on fish crackers... So words that I have heard many times out of my mother’s mouth came out of mine as I lectured him on eating some “brain food” (don’t you love when you sound like your parents?!?) So kids dressed, fed, lunches made and we are out the door. Late.

We made it to the preschool in good time. We ran in to drop off with just enough minutes to get Tyler to the testing center… just to get stopped in the hallway. “Did you know that we were have (pre-K) graduation pictures today? Don’t forget to fill out the form before you leave”. Great. I completely forgot. Why do I even keep a calendar on my smart phone if I’m not going to use it!!! I’m trying to remember what Mikayla looks like this morning… I guess I should be happy that I actually did a little something with her hair…. Running out of time… fill out the paperwork… and we are off again. Of course it seems like we hit every red light on the way to the test site. I’m only freaking out because the test results are the gage in which my homeschooling skills are being assessed by the world!!! Ok.  Exaggeration. But that’s how my mind works, even when I tell it not to…

But Christine, did you make it to the test site on time??? I know you are biting your nails in anticipation. Yes. Despite my obstacles, we walked in within a couple of minutes of the seventh graders getting called in. Cuz that’s how we do it in my house. By the skin of our teeth.  And don’t worry about my teen (I know who you are), he was calm as a cucumber and prepped for his test. He’s only been doing this stuff with me for the last 13 years. At least we didn’t get lost this time. J

It is hard work being a bad mom. So now I am rewarding myself at Starbucks.  I’m saving gas money by not driving home and back (where the coffee and breakfast is free), but I’m sitting in Starbucks instead with my Fruit, Nut, and Cheese breakfast and Cocoa Capp. Sometimes logic is just over-rated.

Note: Any self depreciating is generally in jest - no feelings were hurt during this writing session...

Mind Games

It's 9 PM, I'm alone with the kids, I just got home from church and I have a tons to do before they go to school tomorrow. Do I stay up late or get up early? The correct answer for me is to stay up late. But I won't. I'll say that I'll get up early, then I won't, and I'll end up being the crazy mom running around in circles trying to get everyone out the door on time and feeling guilty that I just didn't do it tonight - like I knew I should. But didn't.

Anyway, I thought I'd share. Maybe putting it "out there" will make my butt get up early tomorrow. :-) BTW - I had a great blog planned for tonight and this wasn't it. Until next time my friends...

Single Mom to Married Mom to Single Married Mom...

Hi! I'm Christine and here is little of my story....

My adult life really started when I was 21 years old and my first child was born. On December 8, 1997 was also the day I started my life as a single parent. I was dating his father, but that didn't last long after that. When my son was 8 years old I got married. Not too long after that, I had two daughters that are 14 months apart. In between the time I got married and now, my husband pursued his career as a chef, which brings me to today. Today, I consider myself a "single married mom" (I might want to mention that I thought I coined the phrase, but a quick search on the Internet proved me wrong). Everyone's story is different, but my title stems from being a chef's widow, or in other words, being married to someone who works long hours primarily during nights and weekends which leaves me alone to manage the household with my 3 kids. BTW -  Please don't think I'm complaining - I just can't find a better way to explain!

I'm going to start with this quick introduction, but those who know me, know that I'm much more complicated than that. :-) Please join me as I introduce you to me a little more and open the door to my crazy single married stay-at-home homeschooling entrepreneuring God-fearing mom life....